Relic Rastak, January 17, 2006

River Rasa, January 17, 2006

These days, January 18, 2006

My husband, our boys and I are trying hard to deal with all the problems. It was very difficult for us to believe that we will not have my mother and sister here, when the boys are going to be born. Of course our families and friends gave us their support and maybe it was the reason that we are all feeling better now.

Yesterday, I went to see my doctors. I can't believe that they are not angels, because they care so much for every feeling of ours and try to do the best. I had another ultrasound and I saw the boys moving their little chubby legs around, kicking me and fighting the pressure that the technician had on my belly. They are bigger than normal size, but my doctor believes it should not be because of my diabetes, because it has been controlled very well. But anyway, having big twin babies is not what can be good for a not tall mother like me. It is what's giving me all the muscle cramp and it is going to be worse and worse during the rest of my pregnancy. But to be honest, I feel proud that our babies are big and strong.

I haven't stoped knitting for our twins and it is what I enjoy the most to do. I can't count how many sweaters and pants I have knitted for them, but here are the newest ones. We are going to put them on the boys for their first Christmas.

Visiting a special person, January 14, 2006

About 5 years ago, I met a very special person on line. He never had a daughter,  and a father, was something that I had always missed in my life, so we decided to have a father-daughter relationship, on line. He was talking with me like I was a 5 year little girl, and I enjoyed it. It was all fun to imagine myself like when I lost my father, with a new father who was holding my hand and taking me to a play ground, buying cone ice cream for me.

Last week he sent me an email and told me that he was sick. I had never had the  opportunity to meet him in person, and when I talked with my husband about my "Dad" 's sickness, he was the one who thought it could be good for both of us ( my dad & I ) to meet in person.

We drove whole way to New Jersey and we stayed at my Dad's home for the night. It was really a pleasure to meet him and his wife in real life.

He told me that they will try to come and see us in summer, and he will give my sons a lot of hugs

Michael, Dad, Bita, Ruth

Busy with the boys, January 13, 2006

I think all I think about these days, is our twin boys.  I am seeing different doctors, almost every week and thankfully they are all very good to help me taking care of our boys. I am eating very regularly, following my doctors structure and thankfully everything has been fine. 

 

 Tuesday, January 10th, when I saw the boys on ultrasound screen, I could not believe those cute chubby legs were MY boy's. They were the cutest thing that I have ever seen and I was feeling so happy that I will not need to steal these babies, because they are mine! I have lived for long, over 35  years, and have never had this amazing feeling. I think motherhood is the most wonderful feeling that a woman can have. I am really happy to be a married woman, because my husband is with me when ever I need him and he loves me so much , but still, I think being a mother is making me feel to be completed as a woman.

 

Last night, when I woke up at 3:00 AM to check my blood sugar, I saw that my blood sugar was low. I was very weak and had trouble to get off the bed and go to get something but I did not want to wake my husband up because he had been working very hard in last nights, staying up and working. And this morning when I told him, he was upset and almost yelled at me : why didn't I wake him up to go to get something for me? And then , both boys started to kick and made me laugh : They cared about their mother ! Nobody can imagine how I feel, when I think that they care! We are going to have two wonderful boys, it is what I am really sure about. I don't care if they won't be smart or physically healthy. I just want them to love and care, which I already feel that I have reached my goal !

 

We are looking to find a good pediatrician for our twins. We have found a young and smart doctor from Iran. We are going to meet with him on January 20th, to see if it can work out for our boys. I am really excited about all the things that we should do to be prepared for our babies, however they make me so busy that I can't have time to do anything else. But what else do I have to do ? Our babies are our world ! And it is  exactly how my husband feels too, so we are sharing our parenthood feeling as well .

My sister's birthday, January 04, 2006

I woke up at 3:00AM to measure my blood sugar as I do every day. I had been waiting for my sister to call me in case,  if she and our mother could get visa to come here. She had not called me yet, so I thought to call her. Then I found out that none of them can come. I had promised them to not be sad if they can't come so I tried to keep my promise. I felt how she sounded sad and my mother was all in tears, but I tried to stay calm.  I talked with a very good friend of mine, Charlie,  about what happened and why I am so upset ( the woman who interviewed my sister and my mother did not look at any of the papers that they had to prove how we need them to come, including the letter from my doctor ) , and he has been working whole day to help me about that.  I knew what a good friend he is, but I am really surprised about how caring he is. He has been sending email out and calling different places to see if he can change the situation.  I can never thank him enough!

 

Relic is a very sensitive boy and could not stay calm. He is the one who is not very active, but after knowing about my sister and my mother's interview, he was so mad that could not stop kicking.

He has been kicking most of the day and strangely, River is not moving. He is the active one and now, feeling him so sad makes me worried. My husband suggested that  I try to talk with through the little microphone that we have for them. It helped a little bit, but not much.

 

Today is my sister's birthday. I had hoped she could get visa to come here and be with my boys for a while. She is crazy about my boys and it could be the best birthday gift to her, but ....

 

We got a package today from my sister's family, including birthday gifts for me and Christmas gifts for my boys and husband. I wanted to open the boys' presents with my husband, and left his present for him to come and open, but I opened mine : a beautiful set of maternity clothes from my favorite nieces ( they had mentioned that they wanted me to get something from them which is different from any other year, because this is a gift for an only birthday of mine that I am pregnant, and just the thought was so delicate that made me almost crying ). I got a box of my favorite cookies and a hand bag from my sister and her husband. They also had some letters and cards for us which I am going to keep forever. One of my nieces had sent a letter to my boys. The first real letter that they got in their life which was mailed to them. Isn't it awesome ?