Merry Christmas ! December 25, 2007

Yalda Night 1386, December 2007

After bring in Holiday Party of Michael's office, it took long to come back home because of all the traffic which was caused by Christmas shoppers and snow. So we couldn't be home early enough to cook for Yalda Night. Michael had suggested to defrost some Iranian stew for dinner and it was the only thing that I could do having such a short time to get ready.

We had bought watermelon and pomegranate and I made some popcorn ( Thanks to my sister Behjat Jan for suggesting that). So everything came out pretty well and we could celebrate Yalda Night as a family together

Entry for December 17, 2007

Today I was taking a nap! ( Yes, I know ! Not often I get that ! ) Then I heard Relic winning around me. I decided to pretend being asleep. And it made Relic wanting to leave me. Then it was quiet and you know how it can not be good sometimes So I went to see what was going on and found Relic in his brother's bed lying down close to him

It almost made me cry ( in a good way ).... My heart feels warm, thinking about the day that IIam not with them but they will have each other

Tonight when I was kissing my sons good night, I was thinking how I will miss these kisses when I die ... Oh no, I don't want to die soon. I want to live for long, watching my boys growing up

Winter is almost here ! December 15, 2007

My boys and their classes, November 28, 2007

Relic and River have been going to the classes of Early Intervention, not because they need that but because I am trying to fill their schedule and let them learn as much as they can. At first I was happy to take the boys there because the classes were free there but now, the best thing that I like about those classes is the teacher that the boys have. Sarah is a very strict but kind and caring woman. Nothing that the kids do in the class can be hidden from her. She sees every little bad or good thing that the kids do.

It is really important to Relic and River how their teacher thinks about them so they do try to not be bad.

Yesterday , in the circle time of the class, Relic wished to sit on his teacher's lap and Sarah was enough kind to let him. He was looking at his classmates with a grin on his face : he did like that view of the class

When Relic went to sit on the teacher's lap, River decided to sit on his brother's seat and after that one of their classmates moved to River's seat. After awhile when the teacher wanted to get something from the shelves , Relic decided to go back to his seat and saw that River had taken it. He was not patient enough to let his brother keeps sitting there. He pulled River from the seat and sat on his seat. River didn't fight ( he usually does not ) , stood up and looked at his seat which had been taken by another boy. River didn't want to pull the boy out of the seat ( he is too kind to do that ) . He looked to find an empty seat and found one in the far corner of class and went to sit there. He looked adorable when he was going to sit there. I loved how independent and kind he was. He was going to sit some where which would not be close to me or his brother, but he didn't care

After their snack time Relic went to sit on the teacher's seat, had a box that the teacher uses to take some different things from to sing and teach, on his little lap and started to offer some cards to his classmates to chose from them ( That's what their teacher does to know which song should be song ) I didn't know what he was doing but Sarah, the teacher saw and knew that Relic was trying to do the circle time just like a teacher

As much as I am happy with how Relic and River are doing in the early intervention classes , I am disappointed about how they are in the art class. Until today I was blaming them ( mostly my little River ) about that, but today I noticed that it is not really their fault. The teacher doesn't take her job very seriously and wants to chat with parents all the time. I am thinking to not take the boys there any more, maybe it is not worth it to wake the boys up, dress them and take them in such a cold days when they are not getting anything there, but we have paid for the classes and also maybe it is good for them to know that not every teacher is good

شعر ناگفته – قیصر امین پور

شعر ناگفته

!نه

کاری به کار عشق ندارم

من هیچ چیز و هیچ کسی را

دیگر

در این زمانه دوست ندارم

انگار

این روزگار چشم ندارد من و تو را

یک روز

خوشحال و بی ملال ببیند

زیرا

هر چیز و هر کسی را

که دوست تر بداری

حتی اگر که یک نخ سیگار

...یا زهرمار باشد

از تو دریغ می کند

پس من با همه وجودم

خودم را زدم به مردن

تا روزگار ، دیگر

کاری به کار من نداشته باشد

این شعر تازه را هم

...ناگفته می گذارم

...تا روزگار بو نبرد

گفتم که

!کاری به کار عشق ندارم

Entry for November 18, 2007

When I find a little time by myself, I go back to the old days when I could go to see my deceased friend Gheysar Aminpur when ever I wished. I could talk with him about what ever I wanted and he was always there to listen. There was never that I could think he was not listening carefully to me. I bet he was the same for all other friends that he had. He did help me to go through a lot of emotional problems that I had at that time. The last problem that I had and needed to talk with him about was about my babies when I was pregnant.... I never got time to tell him how thankful I was to have him ....

Thinking about not having him any more makes me want to scream. But I have to be strong.... I am a mother now so I have to be strong ....