Finally we are packed, ready to leave ( not emotionally ).
I am really nervous about our trip. But as Michael and his family believes I am a strong woman and can do it. I was telling Michael how it will be fun to travel in 14 years with the boys alone. They will hold everything which will be really good for their mother's weak wrists.
I am going to miss Michael, my home and every other thing that I am leaving behind. It will be a long trip ( about 10 weeks ), but not forever.
We are almost packed for our trip. The boys have been a little upset in the last few days. I am not sure if it is because they feel that we are leaving or because I have not been spending much time with them, being busy with packing.
They have also been teething and look very cute with the teeth on top. Oh, yes! My babies are growing up very fast !
Yesterday on of my friends from NSMOM came to visit and had her twin adorable sons with her. River was very happy playing with them and Relic was really good to show Kristin all the things that he knew. We did have good time with each other. Her boys are only two years and half but very polite and I did like how Kristin was talking with them reminding them to do things to be polite. She also had a lot of her boys' clothes which didn't fit any more for mine. It is really good because kids' clothes are expensive and can't be used much.
It is getting closer and closer for us to leave home. I am excited about our trip but also think that I am not ready to leave yet. I am worried about Michael and how he is going to feel coming back every evening to the cold house where nobody is going to wait for him 
I am also worried about how my babies are going to feel, missing our house which they really love and all their stuff
Today Kerry came to give us a short visit before our trip. My boys really love their aunt and were playing with her very nicely.
The only thing that makes me happy about our trip is imagining my family being happy to meet my babies and I think that's the only thing that makes Michael feel good about us leaving him.
But I am sure very thing will be really good after Michael comes to be with us there and the other thing which will be really awesome is my favorite niece's wedding that we all will have a lot of fun in
Today was a rainy day and I had to go out to have some stuff done before our trip. Michael had an important meeting and couldn't stay home to take care of the boys, so I took the boys with me.
First I went to get my international driving license and after that I had my doctor appointment. The last time that i was there was just a week before my babies were born, so it was really exciting to be with my boys this time.
Relic and River were really tired and couldn't sleep in the car, as I had to take them out and put in the stroller when it was pouring rain. Poor my babies were not feeling good at the doctor's office especially when the doctor turned the lights off and I was almost hidden on the back of some of the equipments. But the doctor was really nice and tried to help my babies to calm down. The doctor believes that my eyes are doing really well even after more than 11 years of having diabetes
We came back home wet and tired but I am happy that things are being done before our trip
Sometimes even if something amazing is not happening in our life, we need to step out and see how lucky we are for what we have...
This morning River and Relic woke up hungry before 5 AM and after I fed them, they didn't want to go back to bed. I let them play a little but I was too tired to stay up and play with them at that time so I thought to move them to their bouncer seats and bounce and sing lullaby for them as I always do to make them go to sleep. Michael had to get up and get ready for going to work when the boys were going to sleep. I really can't leave the boys in their bouncer seats even if they are tied by the straps because River can pull himself out easily ( he has already done it a few times ) so I decided to sleep on the futon to be close to the boys when they were sleeping. Michael came to say good-bye and covered me with the old blanket of my dear grandmother who passed away about 20 years ago.
I was lying down on the futon, covered with my favorite blanket and my babies were sleeping so close to me that I could hear them breathing. Michael was going to work, the job that he really loves and then I thought how lucky I am to have all those things. I was really tired and went to sleep soon but I am sure I was smiling the whole time that I was sleeping, feeling the luckiest woman in the world, just to have those simple but very important things in my life
Jeanne, Jay, Grandma Buttler and Meagan came here yesterday to visit us before we leave for our trip. They were all excited about how the boys have been grown up and learned things. It was sad to think that we are not going to see them for a while. Jeanne is always very nice to me, just like a sister and I am very blessed to have her. I am going to miss her through my trip.
I was thinking that it is funny that after not seeing my family for about 2 years, I am not missing them. Last time when we went to visit them, it was just after 18 months not seeing them. But I was just dying to see them. I think being a mother has made me stronger or maybe I am not missing anybody because I have my world here with me. But I am really excited about visiting my family and friends and showing off my babies. As Jay mentioned yesterday, my babies are going to be the center of attention where ever we go and as a mother I am really happy to know it
River and Relic have been learning a lot of things in the last few days. They both have been as active as they always are. River can pull himself out of his walker in just 5 seconds. Yesterday he pulled himself out of the straps of his bouncer seat when Relic was clapping for him, being proud of his brother.
They both had their first bath on the last day of December and really enjoyed it.
They both know the meaning of NAH ( a Persian word for 'no') say and use it in very funny situations.
Today was their special aunt's birthday and we tried to call her so the boys could play xylophone for her. My sister is really proud of my babies and can't wait to see them. It is getting closer and closer for us to go and we are all excited about it.
I just thought about how old I have been this early morning and got shocked 
36 ?
I have been so busy to take care of my children that haven't had time to think about my age, which can be kind of good 
I have never cared about how old I am and have always told my real age ( Yes, I am still 29 ) but I always believe that age is just a number. I have felt much younger after my babies are born, seeing them growing up, experiencing the world with them again. But to be honest, I was a little sad this morning to think about how old I am, because I am worried that I will be old really soon, not being able to enjoy my babies' youth. That's why I think it is better to have children when you are really young.
I did have a good birthday, many phone calls and emails from my family and friends. I cooked my favorite foods today as gifts to myself and enjoyed spending the day with Michael, River and Relic
