Sometimes I feel like I am living in my own world, not caring what is out there and after that I feel guilty. You know ? At a time, I couldn't enjoy anything for myself just because I thought it was silly to enjoy little things, it would be selfish to be happy if there was anybody sad out there. Now I think I was sick at that time and I know it wasn't my fault to feel like that. I had been raised during war and had seen people die and of course the theme of country was the angel of death ! Yes, I remember that wearing gray socks was forbidden at school because gray was kind of white and white could attract men 
So, we had to wear just navy, dark brown and black ! And that's another reason for me to hate dark colors now ... Anyway, we were forced to not think of anything happy or exciting. At that time, I thought to never have a child, because I thought it wouldn't be fair to have a child if there was a child out there who didn't have anybody as family.....
But now, I think if I can't do anything to change the world, why do I have to ruin my own world ? I enjoy my sons' happiness. I laugh with them when they laugh and feel like the luckiest woman in the world when I go for a little walk with my husband holding our sons' little hands. This is my world now, simple but beautiful and I am not going to exchange it with anything else.
You are right honey ! Our generation has passed a very sophisticated era with lots of ups and downs .Now when I think to myself I feel ashamed of their behavior toward us ... Thanks God that you could leave this unforgiven country with all good things It has . Even now we have the same problem of "attraction" I don't know why "we" never attract with diffrent things !! Boots , color , compulsory nice scarf ...are their main problem and the things that anoy them . Good for you honey , good for you !! Cross your finger for us and pray dear !
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ReplyDeleteman na english baladam va na midonam shoma koja in koreye khaki hastin faghat midonam shoam dar kenar in khanevade khoshbakhtin pas 2a mikonam hamishe khoshbakht bashin va khoda in khoshi ro azaton nagire ab65ed@yahoo.com
I am so happy that you were able to leave the oppression behind and learn to enjoy the life you have now...There is nothing in this world as precious as our children.. They are such a gift and they and you deserve that happiness. I wish all Americans could learn to enjoy those simple things as you do... Some are so spoiled of having too much and doing too much to understand what you say. You have a wonderful gift in that understanding.
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