Entry for May 30, 2008

In the last weeks, it has been many times that I have needed to sit and write, but when ever I get a little time for writing, I find another thing which needs to be done .... Sometimes I feel like I am just turning around myself, doing nothing, learning nothing ....

Yes, I haven't worked as a structural engineer for more than three years. And being away from the career that I love makes me feel useless sometimes. I do get tired sometimes, very tired. Especially if I am sick, it is really hard to deal with my very active, hungry for learning sons. I am trying my best to do what ever I can for my sons, but still ....

Lat week, when the boys just started to wake up after their nap, it started to rain very hard and I remembered that I had left the car's windows open ! Michael is very sensitive about his car's seats not getting wet sometimes.(Considering how the gas price is going up, it is wise to use his car and not mine because Michael's car is hybrid ) So I had to run to close the windows fast. I just took the key and left the house not closing the door's house behind me. I had parked the car cross street and when I was running there, I heard Relic crying and following me, bare feet in the street, in the rain. I just ran back to hold him and take with me to the car. When I closed the car windows, holding Relic in my arms, just heard River crying and running to us bare feet. I was just lucky to get him before he ran into street which was more dangerous with the heavy rain and the cars going fast. Three of us were all wet, and the boys were holding me tightly coming back home. River wasn't feeling good emotionally the rest of the day. He wanted me to hold him and kiss him all the time. I am just hoping the this memory is not going to turn to a nightmare for my sons for the rest of their lives.

Yes, it is really hard to raise two very active boys at the same time. But it is worth it. I do have the most beautiful moments as a mother of twins.

Just a few days ago, Michael and I were sitting in the kitchen having some snack with each other. Relic was running back and forth the long side of kitchen and laughing. River was in the living room then playing with some toys and couldn't see what was making his brother so happy. He could hear him laughing so came to the kitchen to see what was going on. Relic ran to his brother, telling him something just in few syllables and just by that, River knew what to do. He started to run with his brother and laughing.

We went to Richardson's' farm on memorial day , getting some ice cream and we thought to let the boys go for golf there. They both were very good for just being two years old. Learned a lot and enjoyed it. They also enjoyed watching the cows....