Nine or ten years ago ( I don't want to think hard ), a day like this, my father died in a hospital not having any of his 13 children around. But many many years before that, he was gone from my life. He got busy with his new life, new wife and new children. I don't have many memories of him. I barely can remember his smile and that's why this picture of him really surprised me (Thanks to my brother Behzad for sharing this picture). If I close my eyes and try to remember him for one moment, for sure I will not imagine him smiling. There are a lot of things about me that my siblings believe are like him and maybe one is being hard to smile ( Oh yes, a few years ago, one of my nephews mentioned that he used to be afraid of me when he was very young because I was always angry at him ) but I am trying very hard to not be like my father in many many ways. Of course he was a great teacher, a very honest and frank man and many other good things which I will try to follow, but .... Oh, never mind !
My children are my life now. I enjoy seeing their father playing with them and reading to them. I enjoy when Michael gets excited to see how cute they are and comes to hug me. I enjoy telling stories of my day with the boys to Michael and see how his eyes sparkle being proud of his sons. Seeing my sons having a caring and loving father is helping me forget about a big gap in my life : My always missing father ....
You know i think that in truth it is not what we have done as individuals but what we do NOW that really counts.I think it took ALOT of courage for you to write to your friends how you felt about your father. To even mention the good things you saw in him shows what a wonderful heart you have and that you truly reflect and think upon things before you speak. The good thing about not being able to smile easily is that when you do it is genuine and that is nothing to be ashamed of. Your boys have wonderful parents and i hope and pray they turn out to be just like you.Keep your chin up, keep smiling and move ahead to be the success that i know you are . Remember we are still out here cheering you on from a distance.
ReplyDeleteMy favorite page in the book is the one where the boys are glad to get home and find that their daddy is home from work, too. The picture of Michael and the boys is priceless.
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