Going to Danvers Park & Library, October 01, 2007

It is hard to remember how life was like when we didn't have children !

Danvers park one of our favorite places to go. We both enjoyed the big trees, beautiful lake and cozy gazebo there and went to have lunch there many times.

Now, when I take the boys there, the first thing that we enjoy is feeding the ducks in the lake.

I took the boys to Danvers library after they burnt a lot of energy in the park. It was really amazing how they have been changed during the last few months. I do remember the first time that I took them to the library and they were running around, pulling the books from their shelves ! But today, most of the time they were sitting at little tables there and drawing. They both love to clean up and were being careful to not make a mess with all the crayons there. I was feeling really proud to be their mother, seeing how they were behaving

Oh, yes ! My boys are growing up really fast

Here is a picture of River and Relic hugging each other in the park

Our Busy Days, September 18, 2007

I know, it's been a while that I haven't had time to sit and write, however I have had many subjects to write about.

There was a beautiful family party at Jay and Jeanne's place ( surprising ? ) which I could meet Michael's brother Phil and his family for the first time. They live in Florida and don't come up very often. They were very warm and nice family and we enjoyed having them with us in the family party.

Michael had done something wrong which been insulting to his brother Jay. He was enough patient to not mention it for some days and then he sent Michael and email and told how he had felt. Michael was very sad, feeling bad about how he had hurt his dear brother. I know that Michael never wanted to hurt him but if Jay had been hurt by him, it was good to know, so Michael would know and would be more careful. I did like how Jay explained how he had felt. This way he didn't have to bury a bad feeling in his heart. I thought that's something that I should learn. It is not very usual in my family to explain our feelings easily, and I think it can hurt our relationship after awhile.

Michael and the boys had some pictures taken in Sears for Michael's birthday and I really liked some of them.

Today in Salem Common, River was trying to clean up the park. It was really cute seeing him going around , picking little piece of trash and little apples which were fallen from the trees and put in trash cans in the park. I thought if everyone felt responsible as much as him, the world be much cleaner than what it is.

Tonight the boys were playing with their drum sticks and one of them hurt the other one. It is really sad to see when they hurt each other because I know they really love each other. I asked them to kiss each other and then they did go to kiss each other Seeing them, kissing each other was one of the most beautiful moments of my motherhood.

A Beautiful Family Party, September 9, 2007

Sand Fun, August 31, 2007

One of My Good Moments, The Boys Telling Me A Story ! August 29, 2007

It was a very busy day for me. In the morning I took the boys to their Gymboree class and then after we came home Relic went to sleep but River did not. It is the worst thing for me to have one of them up, when I have tons of things to do and need them to give me some time. River was making a lot of noise which woke Relic up. After lunch they played a little and then River was tired and wanted to take a nap, but Relic didn't.... Then for the same reason River woke up and both wanted me to play with them .... I thought giving them a bath would be good for them. Oh my God, it is really hard to give to VERY active toddlers a bath when you are alone and nobody is there to help. But I survived .... Then they wanted something more and that's when I thought to take them to Salem Common. It was not a good idea because they both have been very interested in basketball and the basketball court which is in Salem common was full of big boys playing. But River and Relic didn't mind. They wanted to go to play with the big boys, and it was really hard for me to stop both of them running into the court. That's why I thought to take them back home. On the way back home, I thought to let them have a little fun with the beautiful garden around Derby House and that's where they got wild to see the apple trees and started picking the apples and biting them ....

I did have a very hard day and yelled at the boys many times. I do feel bad about it, because I know I wasn't enough patient with my sons. And now, when River and Relic are sleeping, the only thing that I can think about is all the beautiful moments that I had with them today which includes :

I don't know for how long but I went to our bedroom to floss my teeth after lunch. I could hear the boys making noises and scream and when I left the bedroom they both ran toward me and River started to rub his head and pretending to cry. I asked what was wrong and he ran to his brother pull a drum stick from his brother's hand and hit his head looking at his brother. And I knew that he meant Relic had hit his head with the drum stick. I looked at Relic and was going to get upset when Relic took the drum stick back ran to the metal trash can and started banging on that, looking at me like ' I didn't mean to hurt him I was just banging on the trash can' ....

I was really impressed with how they were trying to tell me their side of story. I just hugged both of them and kissed them.

A Family Night Out, August 25, 2007

What If My Children ...., August 25, 2007

Yesterday which was a hot day, I decided to take the boys to Chunk E. Cheese's to let them have a little fun in a place which they had never been to. It could be a good place for all of us to enjoy if I had somebody else with me to keep an eye on one of the boys, but Michael had to work from work and couldn't be with us.

When we were there, the boys were running around enjoying the games but it was really hard for me to see both of them in different areas at the same time and I had all the bad imaginations of the show Law & Order in my mind, thinking about my boys getting kidnapped or being abused. I got so scared that couldn't stay there longer and I decided to take the boys and leave however they didn't want it and were crying when I was buckling them in their stroller. When I was buckling Relic in his car seat River escaped from stroller and ran away. I left Relic alone in the car not being strapped and went to catch River. When we went back to the car, Relic had moved to the trunk for back seats and ere playing with the balls that they had there. River saw him and didn't let me buckle him. He wanted to go to have fun in the trunk with his brother. I was feeling weak and weak every second and it was hot in the car. I just closed the door and sat in the back seat crying and counting my boys 1,2 to be sure if they both were with me. My blood sugar was dropping low but at that time I didn't know that. I just felt that there was ssometing wrong and my boys were in danger. I tried to take the cell phone outyof my bag to call Michael and ask for help, but River who had seen me crying was feeling bad took the phone away and wanted me to hold him . By that time Relic had moved to front seat starting to horn and that's how people paid attention to us in the car. I remember two men opened the door and asked if I was okay. They called 911 and after a few minutes I was in the ambulance and my boys in fire truck or police car holding the bears that policemen gave to them. I knew that my boys were in a safe place but was worried. I needed to see them and that's when the policemen brought my babies to see me. Their hair was all wet from sweating, their faces all red because of heat and they were worried if I wasn't fine .... Michael came after a few minutes and had the boys in his arms, where I felt could be the safest place in the world for them....

We all did have a very tough day. The boys felt good after seeing me being okay. Michael was fine when he saw that he took care of everything, but going to bed I was thinking if my boys would ever trust me taking care of them ....